Passing Through March 2022

Several Christmases ago – the first after finding my birth mother and grandmother – I had no idea what they might appreciate. Money was tight for all of us, but much so for them. How to help my new relatives without insulting them with some cash? 

Then I recalled something Jewell (bio mom) let slip several months earlier: They bought their sofa on credit from the local furniture store. The old one had gone on to sofa heaven, but the bill wasn’t paid. So I went to the furniture store, and took care of the balance. 

When Jewell opened the envelope with the paid-in-full slip, both she and my grandmother (Goldie) broke into tears. They kept saying, “What a relief…what a relief.” 

Another Christmas, another place: I’m serving as interim minister to our fellowship in Raleigh, and just learned about an informal “program” happening at the local (now long closed) Kmart. Seems strangers that want to pay down/off someone’s layaway bill can come to the desk, ask for an account that’s running behind, and give. 

I’m in line to contribute, when a person ahead of me learns her bill was paid in full earlier in the day. Different situation, same response: ”What a relief…what a relief.” 

This is not the most seasonable column I’ve ever written, but it may be the most timely. Your congregation is deep into the process of welcoming it’s next minister. What a wonderful, arduous, scary, exciting time! 

So much goes into a healthy first year with a UU minister. How to forge a kind but honest working relationship – basic stuff like compassionate communication, respecting boundaries, showing patience, and allowing for uniqueness on both sides. 

There’s another basic I want to introduce to this mix: money. 

To keep things real, your new minister will be creating a relationship with you in worrisome times. We may be done with COVID, but COVID is nowhere close to being done with us. It’s tempting to wish otherwise, but as they say, wishing in not a plan. You and your new ministry partner will need to make adjustments yet unseen, and do it with grownup grace. Bet on it. 

Equally daunting is the inhumane war Putin is waging against Ukraine. Videos and stills of suffering civilians break our hearts, and outrage our very beings. Our fears of a wider conflict may be well-founded, but even if not, it only takes a trip to the gas pump or grocery store to realize how our congregations cannot escape world events. Again, you and your new ministry partner will need to make adjustments yet unseen, and do it with grownup grace . Bet on it. 

My plea for these times is that you make money one of the things you and your next minister don’t have to fret over. I’m asking that everybody who can, reach deeper than ever before, relieving your next set of leaders (lay, staff and ordained) from the onerous task of budget-cutting in advance of your new shared ministry. 

So, yes, this is you opportunity to invest in our simple gospel of religious freedom, supportive community, and commitment to a broken human family and planet. And, yes, we want to give from the fire in our bellies, not just the logistics of necessary light bills and snacks for your Family Ministries program. 

But what I’d have you take away after (kindly) reading this column is this: Uncertainties after uncertainties lie ahead, but money doesn’t have to be one of them. What a relief that will be for all concerned! 

With appreciation, 

Don